Susie Mathews
by runaway-run
Summary: TwoBit's nine year old sister has a crush on a certain greaser...what will happen when she gets older?
1. Susie

This is just a one-shot about Two-Bit's little sister. The idea came to me last night and I wrote this, even if it's pretty simple I like it and I hope you will too! I chose the name "Susie" because of S.E. Hinton, to thank her in some way for the amazing characters and story she created.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything/anyone but Susie.

Susie Mathews 

I was hummin' the tune of a song by The Beatles_, Norwegian Wood,_ while trying to do my homework. I always tried finishing them quickly but something always got in the way.

"Hey, Susie! What you doin', humming those losers' song?"

Something, like my eighteen year old brother. "But I like that song."

"How can you? The Socs listen to that stuff." He sat at the table and started drinking some soda.

"I like it." I repeated. "I'm hungry. When will mom be home?"

"You know she works later than usual on Friday." My brother threw the soda can away. His name's Keith, but everyone calls him Two-Bit, and so do I. "Two-Bit?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't guess you're able to cook something…are you?" I asked, pushing my dark brown hair out of the way.

He looked at me like I was nuts. "I have an idea…let's go eat at the Curtis's!"

"Really?" my eyes lit up in excitement.

"Yeah. Go get changed."

I rushed upstairs and put on some clean clothes, then I reached Two-Bit. He usually didn't spend that much time with me, since I was only nine and he was several years older than me, but when he did, I felt special, like I was all grown-up or something. We didn't look that much alike so people usually didn't guess we were related. We had the same eyes, though.

"Hey guys!" Two-Bit and I entered the Curtis' house and found Ponyboy and Sodapop in the living room. "Hi!" I exclaimed happily before sitting next to them on the sofa.

"Hey, Susie! How are you doing?" Soda grinned at me.

"Fine, and you?"

"Not bad!"

"And you, Ponyboy?" I asked. I liked their names, although they sounded funny.

"Me too. Is Two-Bit acting like a responsible adult for once?" he joked.

"Mom's gonna be late and we came here. Can we have dinner with you guys?" I politely asked, just like my mother had taught me.

"Sure you can. I was just gonna go and fix somethin'." Soda replied, getting up. "Anyone wanna help?"

"Me!" I raised my hand. I liked cooking. Or whatever you did in the kitchen. I loved helping mom. Unlike Two-Bit.

Soda laughed and thanked me. As I was tidying the kitchen table, I asked him: "Where's Darry?"

"Late as usual. He should be here anytime."

"Is he getting married any soon?"

Soda looked like he was trying not to burst into laughter. "Why you're asking?"

"Cause I haven't seen you guys in a while and I thought maybe he's found a girlfriend and asked her to be his wife…"

"Oh, here he is. Let's ask him." Soda grinned. "Hey, Darry. Are you getting married?"

"What?" Darry had just entered the kitchen and looked tired and confused. I smiled at him and he seemed to realize something: "Oh… no, you're still my favorite, Susie."

"I am?" I repeated.

"Of course. Come here." He grabbed me and put me on his back. He always did that. "I feel so tall!" I laughed.

"You do?"

"Yeah!"

He put me down almost immediately. "Sorry kiddo, but my back and shoulders are really sore tonight…" he grimaced.

"No problem!"

Darry was my favorite out of the whole gang. As we were eating, I watched him: he was good-looking. I knew he worked a lot, but he still was always so nice to me. I had always liked him the most, since I could remember. He reminded me a bit of my father, even if Two-Bit said it was impossible because Darry was way different and since dad had left when I was only two I couldn't remember him.

Then there was Soda, who was as handsome as a movie star. He had fair hair and brown eyes and he was always smiling or laughing or enjoying life anyway. I liked him a lot too.

Then there was the youngest Curtis brother, Ponyboy. He was very smart, everyone told me so, and he was kind of quiet, not like my brother at all.

"You like that, Susie?" Darry asked me, as I was finishing my chicken.

"Yeah, I like everything!"

"Good."

That very moment, I thought I'd like to marry him someday. My friends used to say he was too old, but they just didn't understand how much I liked him.

"What's that?" Ponyboy suddenly piped up.

"What?" Two-Bit and I asked at the same time.

"I thought I heard the doorbell."

"The doorbell at our house?" Soda grinned. "No way!"

"I'll go check!" I got up and rushed to the front door. There was Dally standing there. "Dally?" I asked nervously. I didn't like him, he scared me because he always looked angry and cold. He cussed all the time, too. I'm pretty sure if I wasn't Two-Bit's kid sister, he would be way meaner at me.

"What you doin' here?" he slurred.

Darry had reached me. "What's going on? You're in trouble?"

"I don't think so." Dally replied, entering the house.

"Why did you ring the doorbell? No one does, especially you." Darry reminded him.

"Shoot, I'm so drunk I guess I forgot." he laughed before lying down on the couch. "You seen Johnny? He said he'd show up."

"Nope, not yet."

"I'll take a nap." Dally muttered before closing his eyes.

Darry and I got back to the kitchen. "It's Dallas, he's drunk and probably by now also asleep on the couch."

Everyone nodded. Everyone was used to it. Besides, the Curtis' house was a safe getaway for greasers. Johnny used to spend the night lots of times, too. I didn't know him well cause he rarely spoke to anyone and he was very shy. Two-Bit told me his parents were worse than our father and that's saying a lot, considering he's left us and mom alone and he's never called to hear how we're doing or whatever.

Not that Steve's dad's that nice, either. I've only seen him once, but he looks mean and cold. Steve can be mean, too, but we usually get along okay.

"Who wants a piece of chocolate cake?" Darry asked. "Susie?"

"Sure!"

"You got any beer?" Two-Bit asked.

"Aren't you supposed to look after Susie and walk her home? You shouldn't be getting drunk already." Darry exclaimed firmly.

"Alright, I'll wait. But I never get drunk with just one beer…"

Darry's glare made him understand he had to shut up. I, for one, didn't really understand why my brother liked that stuff that much… once, when he was passed out on his bed, I had found a can with still some beer in it and I had tasted it, but it was lousy.

I don't understand adults most of the time. Sometimes I just want to grow up soon, sometimes I don't. "Darry?"

"Yeah?"

I wanted to ask him if he'd consider marrying me in case he didn't find anyone else, even if it was unlikely. But I didn't. "Nothing."

I didn't speak for a while, just listened to everyone's chattering. I couldn't ask Darry if he wanted to marry me eventually, but I could ask him something else. "Darry?"

"Yeah?" he repeated.

"Will you take me to my prom when I'm old enough?"

He smiled. He almost never did, so when he actually made that gesture it was tuff, he looked even more handsome. "If you don't find anyone else. I'm sure you'll have tons of boys asking you."

"Boys?" I repeated. "They're disgusting! I'll wait for you."

"That's settled then." He said.

"Thanks! If only my brother could be as nice as you…"

"Then he wouldn't be himself."

"I guess…"

Sometimes I didn't understand what grown-ups meant. _Well,_ I thought as we were walking home, _I'll be one too someday and it'll be worth it if I get to be with Darry._


	2. Seven years later

Okay, I know I said this was just a one shot, but since some people suggested I write more, I eventually did it. However, if you liked this story just as a single piece, you might not want to read this chapter. If you do, please review and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders.

Seven years later- 

"Susie, you ready? Joe's here!"

"Comin'!"

I carefully finished applying my make-up and looked at myself in the mirror. I wasn't crazy about what I saw: my mid-length, dark brown hair fell over my shoulders in ringlets and only the make up helped me to not look as pale as I really was. My eyes were staring back at me, almost lifeless. I wasn't looking forward to going to the prom that night but my boyfriend Joe wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Susie!" my mom shouted once again.

I rolled my eyes. Ever since Two-Bit had moved out, three years before, when I was thirteen, mom had been getting on my nerves a lot. Probably because she didn't have to worry about my brother anymore and she had to bug someone else. "I said I'm comin'!"

I went downstairs, trying not to trip. My dress was quite uncomfortable. Thankfully it'd be only for a night.

"Here you are! You look wonderful, Susie…right, Joe?" my mother smiled. I felt sorry for her. Me and Two-Bit was all she had, after our father left many years before, she hadn't wanted anything to do with men anymore and she'd been working like crazy to support us both, and if she hadn't, she wouldn't probably look that worn-out all the time. Older than her years, too.

"Yeah, she's great." Joe nodded. "We better get going or we'll be late."

"Okay. Later, mom." I quickly kissed her on the cheek before leaving.

As we got into Joe's car, he grinned. "Your mom didn't say anything about you coming home soon."

"Doesn't mean I can stay out all night."

"Maybe not all night, but after the prom, we can take our time-"

I cut him off. "I don't wanna do that and you know it."

"Come on, Susie, loosen up! You're my girlfriend, ain't you? And we've been going out together for what, two months?"

I didn't reply. Joe dropped the subject since he was busy looking for a parking spot in the school grounds. Then, when we entered the gym, already packed with people, his idiotic friends waved at us. I could tell they had been drinking already.

"Let's dance." I said, before he'd start drinking, too. I loved dancing. When I was home alone, I'd put a record on and dance to some upbeat songs. I always felt so much better, like all the pressure disappeared or something.

Joe didn't like dancing that much. After a while, he went to go get some drinks. I hated alcohol, but everyone I knew drank and I had to do the same. I didn't want to be labelled as a goodie-two-shoes.

The night ended up just like I thought it would: everyone got drunk or stoned, including Joe. I thought I'd drive, being sober, but he didn't let me. He had other things on his mind.

"Joe, I told you I don't wanna!" I shouted, trying to push him off of me. He was real strong.

"I just wanna have fun!" he replied.

"This ain't my idea of fun and I wanna go home now!"

Joe looked like he wanted to slap me but finally let me go. "Y'know, I ain't sure we should keep going out together."

"Great thought!" I was real mad by now. I got off the car and slammed the door as hard as I could, then I started walking.

"Where are you going?" Joe yelled. "Don't be stupid!"

"Get lost!" I yelled back. I was almost wishing he'd run after me, apologize and act decent for once, but of course he didn't. He just drove off. And there I was, walking all alone down the street. It was only 11 and I didn't want to go home. I wanted to see my brother and decided to stop by where he lived. No one was there, not him, not his last blonde girlfriend. I felt so depressed and wanted a cigarette so badly, but I didn't have any in my purse.

As I kept walking, I noticed the light was still on in the Curtis' living room. Well, more like Darry's living room: Sodapop was married and didn't live there anymore and Ponyboy had been staying with Soda for a while because Darry had been fixing their old house lately. He had a good job now and although he couldn't afford to live in a better part of town, making the ends meet wasn't a problem anymore.

I wondered if he had dozed off in front of the TV and fallen asleep, I wondered why he wasn't married at 27 years old even if he was the most amazing person I knew. I used to have such a huge crush on him when I was a little girl, and he knew it and always was sweet to me. Actually, I still felt something. I thought of Darry as the kind of man I'd want to get married to someday, if I ever got married, that is.

I wanted to stop by but I couldn't think of any good excuse. In the end, I decided I'd pretend to forget he didn't smoke and ask him for a cigarette. My mom didn't smoke and didn't like to see me doing it, either, so I just didn't do it in front of her.

I lightly knocked on the front door. A second later, Darry was there. "Hi, Susie…are you okay? It's late to be outside on your own…"

He noticed my dress. "You been to the prom?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Look, I don't mean to bother you…you got a cigarette?"

Darry kinda smiled. "You know I don't smoke. Come on in."

I followed him inside. Once we were sitting on the sofa, he asked: "What's going on? Something's clearly been bugging you."

"How can you tell?" I said, amazed. Not even Joe realized when I was upset.

"I've known you for a while." He simply answered. "You sure you're alright?"

I meant to say "Yes" but somehow I couldn't speak. I was really feeling miserable. I looked down, trying to avoid Darry's gaze. His blue eyes were beautiful and terrifying at the same time, 'cause they seemed to see inside of me, my deepest thoughts.

"Susie? You want me to call your mom, or Two-Bit?"

I shook my head. "No." I was almost shaking. "Two-Bit ain't home…and mom, she'll be sleeping by now."

_Don't stare at me like that,_ I thought. _I don't want you to look at me and see just another teenage failure. I don't want you to think of me just as Two-Bit's troubled kid sister. _But Darry wouldn't stop staring._ God, why am I even here? __I'm an idiot. He ain't my big brother, he ain't my surrogate father, he ain't even related to me in any way. Shoot, he's eleven years older than me!_

But he was so important. He had always meant a lot to me. He set the greatest example, he made me feel like wanting to become a better person and doing something good with my life. He was all I could ever hope for, and more. I had hated him for a while, a couple of years before, 'cause I couldn't let go of him. But it was the kind of hate you can only feel half-heartedly.

"I think it's ridiculous." I suddenly exclaimed.

"What is?" Darry asked.

I didn't care about him knowing anymore. "The fact that I care so much about you. You'd think a crush wouldn't last for ten years."

Darry didn't look too surprised. "When you care for someone, you just don't stop caring all of a sudden."

"But it feels so wrong." I didn't even realize I had started crying, when I felt a tear sliding down my cheek. "I wish I was older, I wish I was good enough to be with you."

Darry's strong arms enveloped me in a hug. I felt safe, I felt whole in his embrace. And I wished we could stay like that forever.


	3. Aftermath

I FINALLY finished all of my college exams and I couldn't be happier! I'll have lots of time to be creative and write now, I can't wait!

In case someone is wondering when I'm going to update my story _Lost without each other_, I'll do it tomorrow so you won't have to wait for a long time.

Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders and I don't own the song Only You. _The Platter_s own that one.

**Aftermath**

The following day, at school, I felt like an idiot for bothering Darry like I had the previous night. I didn't want to be a nuisance.

"I think he's so gorgeous!"

"You can't be serious, he's nothing special!"

"Let's ask Susie what she thinks about him! Hey, Susie, who do you like better? Billy Keegan or Peter Thacker? Susie!"

"What?" I looked up at my two expectant friends. I hadn't been listening to them.

"What you thinkin' about?" Jenny asked me and then repeated the question. I pretended to be deep in thought. "I don't know…"

Truth was, I didn't like either of those two guys. They were so…child-like.

"You have to have a favorite in the whole school! Who do you think is attractive?" Carol piped up.

"Actually…I think Mr. Roberts is good looking."

"Our gym teacher?" Jenny made a face. "He must be in his late thirties!"

"So what?" I shrugged. "Clint Eastwood is handsome and he's about that age, too."

"But an actor, it's different! You mean you don't like anyone our age?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

"What about Joe?"

I had almost forgot about him. "Joe and I ain't even going together anymore." I informed them.

"What?" They looked shocked.

"Look, he's a jerk and I ain't gonna put up with him one more minute. You can take him if you wanna…I wouldn't wish him on anyone though." I replied, feeling annoyed.

They finally dropped the subject. "Do you girls wanna go somewhere when school's over?" Carol asked us.

"I can't, I have to clean the house…lend mom a hand." I lied.

Jenny and Carol went back to chatting about boys and makeup and all that junk, and I wished the school day would end soon.

Before it did, I had a huge fight with Joe. I told him I didn't have any intention of getting back together with him and he became furious. I don't know why he cared so much. He probably just didn't want me to break up with him, he wished it happened the other way around.

He got so mad he hit me in the face. He had done it before, so it didn't come as a shock, but it hurt. Not my face. My pride.

Luckily, he left me alone after that and I could finally go home. I was almost there, when I bumped into Darry. "Hi…" I almost blushed.

"Hi, Susie. I wanted to talk to you, do you want to come in?" he asked me, pointing to his house.

"Sure…" I muttered. I was feeling embarrassed and I didn't like feeling that way, it wasn't natural for me. It was weird, the way Darry could make me feel anything.

I followed him in the living room. I was afraid he'd give me a lecture or somethin': the night before we hadn't talked much, I had mostly cried and he had tried to comfort me, then he had walked me home.

"I just wanted to know if you're fine. It didn't look like you had the time of your life at the prom last night." He said.

"Right. I didn't." I agreed. "Everyone was getting drunk but me and my idiot boyfriend just couldn't see eye to eye about nothing and in the end we broke up." I paused. "When I was walking home I was feeling lousy cause I just wanted to dance, after all, I don't think I was askin' for too much…I didn't have a single decent dance." I concluded.

Darry looked at me thoughtfully. "I never had a single great prom either. Every time something was wrong." He got up and put a record on. "Let's dance."

"What?"

"Let's dance together." He smiled and offered me his hand. I almost died right there, when I got close to him, feeling his gentle touch. It was a slow dance and my heart was pounding so fast...

"Darry-"

He shushed me, putting a finger on my lips.

_Only you can make all this world seem right_

Only you can make the darkness bright 

I closed my eyes. Dancing with Darry had to be the best feeling in the whole world. I _was_ the happiest girl in the whole world.

_Only you and you alone can thrill me like you do_

_And fill my heart with love for only you_

I wanted to kiss him so badly. I looked up, into his blue eyes, and smiled, before resting my head on his shoulder.

When you hold my hand, I understand The magic that you do 

_You're my dream come true_

"This is such a cheesy song." He whispered into my ear, giving me chills.

"Yeah…" I agreed. But I couldn't help thinking that _Only You_ would be one of my favorites from that day on.

I was feeling strange. With Joe, I had never felt the need to do anything other than kiss him, and even that was forced most of the time because I really wasn't crazy about him. But there, while Darry was holding me, I was feeling like I wanted to do more than just a simple kiss.

When the song was over, it was like waking up from a long, deep slumber. I raised my head and looked at Darry. He frowned. "Susie, what happened?"

"What d'you mean?"

"You've got a bruise on your cheek."

I guessed Joe hit me so hard that a bruise was now actually starting to show. "Well…"

"Who hurt you?"

I was puzzled. "No one." How did he know?

"I may be lots of things but stupid ain't one of them."

"I know you ain't...look, it was my ex-boyfriend but he was just mad cause I broke up with him. Everything's alright now, so don't tell Two-Bit." I reluctantly replied.

"Are you kidding?" he sounded incredulous.

"I'm fine and we're over and I don't wanna think about it no more. It ain't no big deal."

"No big deal? I always thought of you as a smart girl." He sounded disappointed. "I guess you're old enough to look after yourself." He added, before leaving the room.

I felt ashamed and I wasn't sure why. I left without saying goodbye to Darry.

-------------------------------

I thought a lot about Darry's words in the following days. I didn't know what to make out of it. But most of all, I thought a lot about our dance. I wished I could go back in time to relive those moments…

"Susie! What are you doing?"

My mom's concerned voice shook me out of my thoughts. "Sorry, mom…" I had spilt some coffee on the kitchen table. I was still half-asleep. It was real difficult for me to eat breakfast every morning, I just wasn't hungry till eleven or so. "I'll clean, don't worry."

"You've been distracted a lot lately. Is somethin' going on?"

"No." I shook my head.

"Are you feeling bad because of your break up with Joe?"

"No way. I'm glad I ain't going out with him anymore." I said truthfully.

For some reason my mother looked like she didn't believe me.

"Listen, mom…how old were you the first time you fell in love?"

If she was surprised by my question, she didn't show it. "I was your age, sixteen."

"Did you end up with the guy?"

For a second she seemed angry. "No."

"And then? What happened?"

"I ended up with your father." She slowly said. I looked down. I didn't like hearing about him. He wasn't a father anyway. If I spoke of him, which happened rarely, I called him with his name, Terence. It was a real shame, cause I actually liked the name Terence very much.

"Was he older than you?" I asked. Since she had brought up the subject of Terence, I thought she wouldn't mind if I asked her to share some more details.

"Yeah, six years older. I was seventeen when I met him and he was twenty-three."

"Did you like him from the beginning?"

"Sure. He wasn't real handsome, but there was something about him…and he seemed a good man, smart too. I guess I just wasn't a good judge of character when I was that young." She shook her head.

"At least you have me and Two-Bit now." I glanced at the clock. "I'm late! I gotta go to school, see you later."

I rushed outside and started running down the street. My mom never was a good judge of character, not even now. For instance, she had always liked Joe from the beginning.

I wondered what my mom would say if she knew I liked Darry. She knew, of course, that I was fond of him, because when I was a little girl I talked a lot about him, but she had no idea how much I thought about him everyday. Maybe if Terence had been ten years older than her or somethin', she wouldn't mind me having feelings for Darry. After all, until a couple of decades before, women married older men all the time and it was perfectly normal. And when you love someone, age isn't supposed to matter.

Why then did I feel guilty about my affection for Darrel?


	4. Summertime

I started college today, well, not really, just moved into my dorm. This is going to be a heck of a week! Very busy and confusing. Anyway, I'm lucky cause I have wireless connection in my room and so I'm updating, even if I should be sleeping…which is what I'm going to do right after I post this chapter!

Disclaimer: I only own Susie.

**4 - Summertime**

"Damn it, Two-Bit! You cheated!"

"I never cheated once in my whole long life!"

I raised an eyebrow at him and stared at him sceptically.

"Alright, maybe I cheated once or twice but tonight ain't the case!" He admitted.

"Whatever." I put down the cards I was holding and lay down on the sofa.

"Susie, you're taking up all the space, move a little." He tried to push my feet off of him. "Why do I have to put up with you anyway?"

"Cause you're my dear brother and mom wanted you to come over for dinner." I reminded him.

"It's terrible. I'm 25 and mom still bosses me around!"

"You're almost 26."

"And I'll boss you around for the rest of your life if you don't learn some manners." Mom piped up, entering the room. "Susie, put your feet off of your brother. Keith, put your feet off the table."

He shuddered at the mention of his name but obeyed mom's orders.

"Susie, will you come and help me with the cooking?"

"Yeah." I reluctantly said. I didn't really feel like getting up, but I did. Two-Bit turned the TV on, like he always did when he came over. I rolled my eyes at him. He was really lazy.

"You remember Frances Simmons?" mom asked me while we were peeling potatoes.

"My dance teacher? Yeah." When I was twelve, I'd taken some dancing classes. Money hadn't been a problem then 'cause Mrs. Simmons was a good friend of my mom and she hadn't charged us the same price she had the other students. Then she moved to Texas to teach there and only recently came back to Tulsa.

"You could go back to taking dancing lessons, you really should. I met her today and she told me you were very good and she wished you'd continue."

"I don't think so. It ain't like I'm gonna make a living out of dancing." I replied.

"You should do it for yourself, honey."

I followed my mother's advice and went to see Mrs. Simmons, but her offer kinda caught me off guard.

She asked me if I wanted to spend the summer with her and other students in California, organizing recitals and such. Kinda like a summer camp. That would mean three whole months away from home, away from my mom and brother, away from Darry. I wasn't so sure.

I thought about that a lot in the following week. I thought it'd be a good experience and maybe one of my few chances to see some big city and travel outside of Tulsa… but leaving home for three months was going to be hard.

Then I realized this was a great chance for me and if I didn't go, I'd regret it later, wondering "what if" and all that junk. I also felt like I had something to prove to myself, to my family, to the people who knew me: I was growing up, I wasn't a child anymore and I could make it on my own. I knew it, but most of my friends still saw me differently.

Darry saw me differently. And I wanted him to look at me and see an independent young woman, not some small, frail kid.

My mother almost started crying when I told her my decision, but tried to restrain herself because she didn't want me to think she was sorry: on the other hand, she was glad I could have some vacation, since we hardly ever left Tulsa.

School finished and when the moment of saying goodbye came all the gang was there to say goodbye to me. I last spoke to Darry.

"Have fun in California, Susie…"

"I will. I'm gonna get you somethin', just to make up for the nuisance I've been to you all this time." I said. Not being able to see him for three months was going to hurt. A lot. After all those years spent spying on him, casually walking by his house to catch a glimpse of his handsome face…

"There ain't no need to. You're no nuisance."

I looked at Two-Bit and the others. They were talking animatedly about something and they weren't looking in our direction. "Can I have a hug?"

"Sure." He hugged me and when he let go, I quickly kissed him lightly on the lips. "Don't get mad…I've wanted to do that for a long time." I weakly smiled, before turning away from him and hugging my brother. It was time to leave.

Once I got inside the bus, I stared at Darry, who was standing there with the boys, as long as I could see him, before the bus turned round the corner.

----------------------------------------

I didn't think I'd have so much fun, but those three months were great. I made new friends and learned many different kinds of dancing. It was fun, but now I knew I didn't love dancing to death, I wouldn't want to do that for the rest of my life…simply, it would always be one of my favorite things to do in the free time.

I also met this guy, who always came to see the recitals, who was really awesome. I liked him a lot and if I wasn't in love with Darry I might have gotten a crush on him, instead. His name was Jeremy and he hated the nickname Jerry, I'm not sure why, so obviously other people called him Jerry all the time. He was two years older than me.

The last night in California we had a stroll along the beach with some other girls of my group and some friends of his.

"I'm gonna miss you, Susie…promise me you'll write sometimes?"

"I will if you do too. I ain't a great writer anyway…I can never express what I feel."

"Me either. I prefer action." He smiled and leant down to kiss me. When he parted, he grinned: "Don't slap me now…I just wanted to do that once."

I remembered when three months before I had told Darry the same. "I know the feeling. It's okay."

"So…you're happy you're going back home to your boyfriend?"

"I told you one thousand times I don't have one!" I elbowed him lightly.

"I don't believe you don't like anyone."

"I never said that. But he's older than me."

"How much?"

"Ten years and eight months older."

"Wow…" Jeremy whistled. "I never heard of a girl liking someone so much older. But you know what…my father's nine years older than my mother."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Yeah."

"You know, it was my birthday last week…" I whispered. "I'm 17 now, so I'm not of age yet…but maybe when I am, if I change, he'll see me differently. Maybe he'll see me differently now, when I go back home…maybe…"

"If he doesn't, that sucks...and I'll come to the rescue."

I laughed. "You can never be serious!"

"Never!" he agreed. "Happy belated birthday, by the way."

"Thank you."


	5. More than a crush

This is pretty short, I know. But I wanted the chapter to end this way...

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders.

**5 - More than a crush**

"Two-Bit! I missed you so much!"

"What? I thought you were better off without your old big brother!"

I smiled at Two-Bit as he grabbed my suitcase and put it in the car. "Yeah, actually, I didn't miss you that much. How's mom? How's everyone?"

"The boys are fine. Mom...she missed you a lot. I had to visit her all the time to keep her happy. And guess what?" He didn't leave me any time to try to guess: "Tonight we're having a barbecue cause you're back!"

I couldn't wait to see my friends and I couldn't wait to see the boys. But, most of all, I wanted to see Darry. So, that night, I was very disappointed when he didn't make it to the barbecue. "He's sorry, but he's got work to do." Ponyboy told me.

"That's okay, I understand." I looked at him and Sodapop. They looked the same, and so did Steve. That was to be expected: after all, I had only been away for three months, not years. But it seemed so much longer for some reason.

That night I couldn't sleep well. I dreamt about Darry and when I woke up I decided I'd go over at the Curtis' to say hello to him. Since I'd been gone, I'd wondered if he had been mad at me because of that kiss, and I wondered if maybe that was part of the reason why he hadn't come the previous night. Maybe he wanted me to understand I was like a little sister to him, or something. And if that was the case...I knew I'd feel devastated. Of course, I had seen some of his previous girlfriends and I was way different...but his relationships never lasted more than some months and I had to wonder why. I wondered if it was him, the one who broke up with them, or the other way around. Surely it couldn't be the second possibility: how could a girl let a great man like Darrel Curtis go? I knew if only I had a small chance with him, I wouldn't.

"Mom, I'm going out!" I yelled, as I was putting my shoes on.

"Where are you going?"

"Just for a walk!"

"Oh, could you please go to the supermarket and get some food? We've barely got any left! Here, take the money!"

It was impossible to refuse something to her. "Alright! I'll try to be back soon!"

I was so wrong. I spent ages shopping because I couldn't decide what to get and because there were so many things I had been missing while I was away that I wanted to buy. Eventually, I left the market with two huge, heavy bags, and started walking home...which had never seemed so far like that day. Damn, heavy was an understatement. Those bags were killing me.

And to make matters worse, I met Joe while I was on the way home. Our relationship hadn't been exactly friendly after the break up.

"Hey." he smiled. "I thought you were in California."

"I'm back now." I didn't feel like talking, especially with him. "Bye."

He stared at my bags and started following me. "You know who I'm dating?"

"I don't really care, but I guess you'll tell me anyway."

"Carol. She's real nice, she doesn't act all innocent-like with me."

I was going to collapse before I reached home. My fingers were hurting. "Wow." I sarcastically said. I thought about Carol bitterly. I'd have to stop hanging out with her, what kind of friend was she?

"If you change your mind, I guess I could take you back." Joe said. I felt like slapping him, hard. He had no decency. "Leave me alone!" I cried.

"Alright. No need to get mad." He crossed the street and quickly disappeared from view. Thankfully.

Now I only had to get home alive.

"Susie!"

That had to be a great day. "Darry! Hi!" I smiled. I was overwhelmed with joy when I saw him. He was walking toward me and when he got close, he kind of smiled too: "Hey, welcome back. Let me get those for you." He grabbed the bags before I had any time to protest or do anything. I didn't want him to think I couldn't do anything without a man's help. "It's fine, I'm almost home..." I weakly said.

"Those are heavy, I'll carry them for you. I'm a bit more muscular than you." he joked.

"Thanks." Once again, I was feeling like a child. "So, how...have you been doing this summer?" I asked.

"Pretty good. What about you?"

"I..." I didn't know what to say. There were too many things I wanted to tell him, but he probably didn't care. "Good too. Met a lot of people, had a lot of fun, and all that jazz."

"I'm glad to know."

I had no idea how I let that out, but it happened: "Darry...did you get mad for that kiss?"

Darry seemed taken aback but didn't lose his usual cool. "What?"

"I mean, when I was leaving and I kissed you...did you get mad afterwards?"

Darry seemed deep in thought. "No, why would I? A kiss just means someone cares about someone else. It's a sign of affection."

The way he pronounced those words hurt me. It was like it had meant nothing to him, but it had meant a whole lot for me.

"You see..." he went on. "If I was younger, things could be different. But I'm twenty-seven and you're not even of age yet. You're Two-Bit's little sister. If I didn't have to worry about Pony and Soda, I would feel like you're a sibling of mine cause I saw you grow up and have always been there. I think it's time you try to move on, forget about me. It's just a crush."

It felt like someone had backstabbed me. "A crush?" I muttered. "A crush would never last this long! If mine was just a crush, I wouldn't be thinking about you all day and night long, wondering how to become a better person worth of being with you! And I...I never would have had the guts to give you that kiss if I wasn't in love with you!" I exclaimed.

Darry opened his mouth to say something, but we were in front of my house, so I grabbed the bags from him and headed toward the door. Mom was looking at us from the window, which was slightly open, and I knew she had heard everything.


	6. January 5th

Here comes chapter six! Hope you all like it… let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders.

**6 – January 5th**

My mom had a long talk with me that made me feel like crawling under my bed and die. I understood she was concerned for me, but it was so embarrassing to listen to her telling me I shouldn't have treated Darry the way I had and that I was way too young to realize what love truly was.

"Mom…" I managed to interrupt her. "I've always been mature for my age, right? 'Cause I grew up around lots of older people and I'm not like every other seventeen year old-"

"That doesn't mean you can go around crushing on a thirty year old!"

"Darry's twenty seven! And I…"

"I know what you're gonna say, you're in love, well you aren't! And you better stop going over at the Curtis' so much."

"But mom!"

"I mean it! I don't wanna see you around Darrel or his brothers and I hope you realize this childish infatuation has gotta go!"

She got up, meaning our conversation was over. I had rarely seen my mother this mad and I knew she meant business: if I disobeyed her, she'd punish me or something. Not that I cared, she couldn't do anything really bad since she worked all the time and she was only home in the evening… even if she decided I couldn't go out at night, it wouldn't be so bad. I'd have more time to myself.

"I have to go to work now, but we'll talk again later."

I groaned. "Wasn't this enough?"

"If you get any mouthier…"

"I know, I know. I'll clean my room while you're at work."

I didn't see Darrel for over a week and in the meantime school started. I thought a lot about me and him, and the general situation. Everything came down to one single solution.

On some Thursday afternoon I picked up the phone and dialed the Curtis' number. Ponyboy answered and I asked him if Darry was home. He said he was busy at the moment but he'd call me back as soon as he could. I thanked him and hung up, sure that Darry would never call back.

But I still kept answering the phone every time it rang that day: it was always for my mother and once for me, my friend Jenny.

I wasn't even thinking about Darry's possible call anymore when the phone rang again and I lazily answered: "Hello…" It was him. "Hi. I'm sorry about what I told you last week…" I muttered. "I just wanted to let you know that… I'm not gonna bother you anymore. My mom will skin me if I so much as walk in front of your house, so…" Darry told me he was sorry my mother had gone berserk on me, that it wasn't right since nothing had happened. "She knows, but she also thinks I shouldn't see you anymore… so…" I paused. "Bye, Darry."

As I put down the receiver, I felt a tear sliding down my cheek. I had decided I was going to try and forget him. I truly had. After all, I had been annoying him for a long time and he was probably tired of me and my mother would never approve an eventual relationship. My brother would never approve (well, he wouldn't care that much anyway). No one would approve because of the age gap.

I had to be the one who was wrong, since everybody else seemed to agree.

-------------------------------------------------------

Some months slowly went by. I rarely saw Darry, and when it happened, it was usually because we'd bump into each other while walking around the neighborhood. My mom was happy I had listened to her advice, or so she thought. Despite my efforts, I couldn't ignore the fact that forgetting Darrel wasn't easy at all. I had forced myself to try, because life would be much more simple then, but I couldn't go out with some dumb guy like all my friends did to feel less alone and I couldn't tell anyone what was wrong with me, so I just pretended I was happy, while inside I was feeling miserable.

I had made a resolution though and I intended to keep it. Even if January arrived and the New Year didn't seem much promising for me... I was absolutely sure it was going to suck. But it would be Darry's birthday on the 5th and, although in the beginning I wanted to get him something, I just had no idea what to buy and barely any money: I couldn't ask my mom for more because she'd want to know what I needed it for and I didn't want to lie to her. So, I was left baking a cake and making some cookies.

I liked cooking if it was for someone else. If I had to cook for myself, I despised it. Since I did it rarely, I was afraid the results would suck, but the cookies were actually good when I tasted one and the cake… well, I'd have to cross my fingers and hope for the best.

I sneaked out of the house hoping mom wouldn't come home early from work for some mysterious reason and walked to the Curtis' house.

Darry looked surprised when I showed up on his porch but tried to hide it. He was probably wondering why all of a sudden I'd decided to ignore what I'd told him months before. Truth was, I just couldn't ignore his birthday. Even if I couldn't see him because I liked him… he was still an old friend. He still meant a lot.

"Come on in…" Darry invited me. "It's freezing outside. I just got home from work myself."

"I'm lucky then. Well… happy birthday, Darry!" I handed him the cake and the cookies. I was feeling nervous because I hadn't really made anything for him before, or for anyone else for that matter. "I made them for you but if you don't like them you can throw 'em away, I mean, I'm not sure they taste good so you don't have to eat 'em and get a stomachache afterwards…"

Darry almost laughed. "I don't think I could get a stomachache… these look pretty good. Have a seat." He pointed to the kitchen and I sat, while he got a knife and some dishes. "Thank you, Susie." He said while he was cutting the cake. "You didn't have to do this."

"I just wanted to do something. It's not your birthday anyday… and when it's the birthday of someone special, it should be celebrated better with more than just a cake and some cookies, but unfortunately I… didn't know what else to do." I reluctantly admitted.

"This is more than enough." He smiled. His blue eyes seemed to smile as well. He finally tasted the cake.

"How is it?" I asked, worried. He had an unfathomable look on his handsome face.

"It's delicious. Here, you eat some as well." He cut a piece for me. "I really like it." He reassured me, seeing the doubtful look on my face.

"I'm glad you do. So, hum… did Pony and Soda get you anything?"

"Yes and no. Pony woke me up at midnight shouting 'Happy Birthday Darry!' and he told me he and Soda had gotten something really tuff for me, but that I'd only receive it when we would be having dinner later… that is, in a couple of hours…" he glanced at the clock. "I wasn't really awake and I told Pony to let me sleep, but for some reason he kept talking until one in the morning when I got up from bed and locked him outside of my room."

I laughed. "Never a dull moment, huh?"

Darry shook his head. "Never. What about you, is everything fine at home?"

I knew he was not only asking out of politeness but also because he was still thinking about the fight I'd had with my mother. "Yeah, life's great." I lied. Sure things were good at home… but with mom's prohibition of seeing him, life wasn't definitely on the bright side. "You know… Two-Bit even got himself a stable job, or at least looks like it."

Darry and I chatted for a while. I loved spending time with him, even just talking about nonsense. _Maybe it won't be that hard to let him go, _I kept repeating to myself. But I knew it wasn't true.


	7. Snow

I'm updating before going to bed because here it's half past one in the morning… I really should be in bed… hope you all enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders.

**7 – Snow**

"Susan, wake up! You're gonna be late for school!"

My mom was shaking me but I refused to move. "Mom, I don't feel well…" I muttered.

"I don't buy that. Get up, your breakfast's ready!"

I really didn't feel well. I slowly made my way downstairs and almost collapsed on a chair.

Mom was eyeing me warily. "You better eat quick. I'm leaving for work, if you'd got up before I would've given you a ride." She said as she put on her coat.

"Yeah…" I nodded as I put a piece of toast in my mouth. Once she got outside, though, I threw everything away and went upstairs to get changed. Now that I was up, it made no sense to stay in bed, even if I didn't feel alright.

"Great. Just great." I muttered, noticing it was snowing. I didn't have time to look for the umbrella so I just grabbed my rucksack and headed outside. "I hate snow." I seriously did. I was probably the only person who didn't like snow and everyone thought I was weird.

I ended up late for first period at school but the teacher was really nice and she didn't mind when I'd explained the reason I was late, exaggerating a bit.

The day at school never seemed to end. Just like it never stopped snowing. By the time school was over, there had to be several inches of snow outside. _I hate, hate, hate snow with a passion. _Besides, my idiot ex-boyfriend Joe liked teasing me by asking if I needed a ride knowing I'd never accept.

I started walking home. I had a major headache and I was feeling weak. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I realized I didn't have the key to enter my house and I'd basically locked myself out. And mom wouldn't come home for at least another couple of hours. I cursed and tried to decide what to do when someone from the other side of the street called my name.

I looked up. It was Ponyboy. "Hey, Susie! What are you doing? You need a ride somewhere?"

"No, I…" I sighed. "I was going home but I don't have the keys to get inside."

"Well, come inside my house then!" he offered. "Your mom works till late, right?"

"Yeah…"

I didn't want to accept Pony's offer because for one, I wasn't supposed to hang with the Curtis brothers, and two, what if Darry came home and thought I was being obnoxious? But since the alternative was freezing to death or go to some crowded bar (that I didn't really felt like doing) I followed Ponyboy inside. Each one of the Curtis guys was so damn nice, why had I fallen for the oldest?

"Do you want something hot to drink?"

We chatted for a while until Pony told me he had to go out to see some friends. "Just do like this was your house" he said before leaving.

I sat on the sofa. I was feeling really sleepy and I thought I could just take a nap… then I'd go home and do my homework…

---------------------------------------------------

I rolled on my left side and noticed a blanket was covering me. _How strange. _I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. _Wait… I ain't home… _

I noticed Darry sitting in the armchair. He was writing something in a notebook and was mumbling to himself. Then he noticed me looking at him. "Hey, Susie. I found you asleep when I came home and I didn't want to wake you up, cause it seems you've got a fever." He explained.

"I do?" I repeated dully.

"Yeah. Are you cold? Do you want another blanket?"

"No, I'm fine… sorry about this, I just forgot my keys this morning because I was in a hurry and when I came home I couldn't get inside... Pony saw me and he-"

"Don't worry. I don't think your mother's home yet, so just rest for a while and then I'll phone to see if she's back." He smiled. He looked really breath-taking when he did that, and even more so at the moment because his hair was all messy. "I'm gonna make some hot chocolate, alright?" he asked before getting up and heading towards the kitchen.

_I'm probably dreaming, _I thought. _There's no way Darry's being this kind to me… it's just too much… _

Not that Darrel was a rude person, but there was something so sweet about him that day… I couldn't put my finger on it and in the end I decided I was just thinking incoherent thoughts because of the fever.

"Darry, can I ask you something?" I said when we were drinking the hot chocolate some minutes later.

"Sure." He nodded.

"You think I'm just a kid?"

At least I could blame my question on the fever.

Darry just looked at me for a minute. I thought he was going to ignore what I'd asked, but he replied choosing very carefully what to say, or so it looked like to me. "I think despite the neighborhood we live in and all you've gone through, you're growing up nicely. When your mom talks about you, she always looks very proud, anyone can see that. And you'll be a great woman soon, I'm sure."

"You mean it?"

"Yes. And you're very independent, I like that." He seemed to correct himself: "I believe it's a good thing to try to not depend on anyone too much, even if it's obvious we all need somebody." He looked outside the window: "It's still snowing. I don't think Tulsa's seen this much snow since I was ten or so."

"Why? Did it snow a lot then?"

"Once it did. I remember this one time… Ponyboy was four and he had never seen snow before, he was scared and excited at the same time. Soda would beg mom all day long to let him go outside and play." Darry smiled fondly at the memory and I smiled as well. I loved hearing him talk about his brothers, he was so caring… I thought it was one of his best qualities. The way he had taken care of Pony and Soda after their parents' death was incredible. When he became their legal tutor I was just a little girl and I didn't realize fully what it meant, but I was seventeen now and I started to understand how hard it had to have been for him. And I loved him even more for not giving up.

Darry reminisced for a while and I listened intently. After a while, I started to feel sleepy again, but before dozing off, there was something I wanted to tell him. "You're the most amazing person I know." I said. "And maybe you don't care what I think and maybe I don't know that many people, but you really are special and Pony and Soda are lucky."

I wasn't sure, because I was already asleep a few minutes later, but I thought I felt like I was being kissed on the forehead. Maybe it was just the fever. But that day I was happy.


	8. See you next month

It's so good to see that you guys like this story! I'm trying to update whenever I can because I don't want to let you down.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders…

**8 – See you next month**

The school year ended. Nothing exceptional happened, except my mother decided she wanted me to go to college. I'd asked her how in the world we could afford that and her reply was that, as long as I attended Tulsa Community College, the fees wouldn't be that expensive and she had some money saved for me anyway. I could live at home, go to college and work part-time if I found something.

She insisted so much that I applied, even if I wasn't really sure if I wanted to go.

I spoke often with my friend Jenny about that. She wasn't going to college and she didn't even care much. She was going to get married anyway, or so she thought. Her boyfriend had proposed to her but they still hadn't set a date. Personally, I thought getting married at 18 was kinda stupid but to each their own.

In May, I received a letter informing me I'd been accepted to college. It wasn't really a big deal since the community college wasn't that prestigious, but it was still good to know.

In the meantime, I started looking for something to do that summer to save some money. For some reason I ended up volunteering at the hospital and babysitting for some kids of people my mom knew.

The babysitting was cool, the children weren't exactly angels but, growing up in my neighborhood, looking after kids was a piece of cake compared to other things you had to learn in order to not get hurt. On the other hand, volunteering at the hospital was hard at first, especially because of the things I saw, but once I got used to it I started enjoying it a lot. I especially liked keeping company to old people. They made me feel kind of nostalgic, probably because my grandparents were all dead, and I hadn't really known any of them except for my mother's father who died when I was only seven.

"How are you feeling today, Mrs. Everett?" I asked one Monday morning as I entered the room of an elderly lady who'd been in the hospital for almost a month already. I really felt for her.

"I feel a bit better, dear. How are you?"

"I'm good. Do you want to go outside?" She was too weak to walk so I used to push her wheelchair.

"I don't know, I'm tired of this place. The outside of the hospital is awful." She sighed.

"Well…" I lowered my voice. "Tell you what. We'll have a long walk outside the hospital grounds. What do you say?"

Her green eyes seemed to sparkle. "Really?"

"Yeah. If you don't tell anyone, cause we're not supposed to do this." I reminded her.

"I'll keep my mouth shut!" she exclaimed, excited. It was weird how sometimes old folks looked like children.

We went out. It was such a beautiful day of June. Mrs. Everett had lived in Canada when she was younger and she always told me about it. I liked hearing her memories, she could be a story-teller because of the way she narrated. She was really good.

"Look, Mrs. Everett, this is my neighborhood." I told her when we were getting close to it. It wasn't that far from the hospital. "I know it's not the best… but there are some really special people here."

"Does your boyfriend live here?"

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"How come such a lovely girl doesn't have a boyfriend? I swear this world is going mad."

We wandered for the streets for a while until I decided we'd better go back to the hospital before someone noticed Mrs. Everett was missing.

On the way back, we met Darry. He was carrying a huge bag of groceries but he looked completely relaxed. I'd probably drop everything if I tried to carry that much stuff. But of course, he had muscles.

"Hi, Darry… this is Mrs. Everett, I was showing her the neighborhood."

"Nice to meet you." He smiled at her. "Susie, I'm going home, we're having a barbecue later if you want to come. I already told your brother."

"Thank you. I'll see if I can make it, I don't know how much longer I'll be at the hospital." I replied.

We said goodbye and when Darry had just walked past us, Mrs. Everett said audibly, "That's a handsome man if I've ever seen one!"

I looked over my shoulder. Darry was laughing at her comment. I just grinned and whispered back "I know… and… he's a great person too."

She scrutinized me. "Are you in love with him?"

I replied quietly: "I do like him, but he's older than me. And he's my brother's friend."

"Shoot, girl, don't you know women marry older men all the time? I wanted to marry a man who was older than me too, but he died in the first world war."

"Oh, I'm sorry…"

"That was a long time ago, don't think about it."

I realized my situation wasn't so bad after all. At least Darry hadn't been drafted to Vietnam.

I eventually showed up at the barbecue. I wasn't really hungry, and maybe my mother needed help at home, so I thought I wouldn't stay for long. There weren't many people: my brother, Pony, his girlfriend, Soda, his wife and their little kid, and a couple of other guys.

"How come even 70 year olds hit on you?" I asked Darry while he was giving me a coke.

"She probably wanted to be nice."

_You're so wrong._ "Well, I…" I looked around. Ponyboy and Sodapop looked so happy with their girls. I felt jealous. "I don't feel so well, I think I'll go home."

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Darry asked.

I shook my head. I said goodbye to everyone and started walking home. I was feeling cold. I just wanted to lay down and sleep. I didn't know why but I was feeling so alone.

"Susie, wait."

Darry was walking towards me. He gently put his jacket on my shoulders. "So you won't freeze while you walk home."

"Thanks."

"I'll accompany you."

"You don't need to do that."

"You know just as well as I do things aren't the greatest around here at night. And you're a pretty girl, that makes it even more dangerous."

_Did he just say I'm pretty? _I wondered, stunned.

"I heard you're going to college. That's a good move."

That made me feel even more miserable. "You deserved to go to college and you didn't. I don't and I'm going. Life sure is unfair."

"Why do you say that? You deserve going as well."

"No, I don't. And… you should just find yourself a good woman and get married already because I don't know if I can keep my promise to let you go."

He looked taken aback. "Susie-"

"I'm not worth your time." We had reached my house and I handed the jacket back to him. "Bye."

----------------------------------------------------

July was really hot that year. I used to shower twice a day, with almost freezing water, and yet each day seemed to be worse. I don't know how some people managed to work all day long with that weather.

One day I was coming home after babysitting, it was five in the afternoon and it was starting to feel a little less hot. I was still sweating too much for my taste though.

When I walked by the Curtis' house, I saw Darry in the garden checking the car's engine.

_I. will. not. stare. _I repeated myself when I noticed he was shirtless. Then I thought I'd say hello. A voice in the back of my mind was telling me I was acting like a fool but I couldn't help it. "Hey, Darry…"

"Hey. I'm trying to see what's wrong with the engine but I don't get this kind of things. I should just give up, it's too hot to waste time and energy over this." He said as he closed the bonnet.

_Oh man. He sure does look good. _"Maybe Soda or Steve can check that…" I dully said.

"Yeah. You want something cold to drink? I'm really thirsty myself."

"Okay." My brain had momentarily frozen. Shirtless Darry wasn't something that I got to see everyday.

After the night of the barbecue when I'd gone psycho on him we hadn't really talked. I didn't know why I'd been that rude.

"Two-Bit told me you're looking for a house in a nicer area." I said.

"Yeah. I've been saving some money and Pony's finished with college, he's working now, so I think I can afford it with a loan or somethin'. Work's good and I've never really wanted to live here forever." He said as he poured some cold tea for us. "And I guess it takes some time to find a nice place so I started lookin' even if I have no intention of moving yet."

I understood. I wouldn't want to be living in our neighborhood all my life either.

"Darry, next month is my birthday." I suddenly said. "I'm gonna be eighteen. Sure it's not a big change in terms of drinking or driving, but…" I trailed off.

Darry looked at me. "I'll see you next month."

When I left I kept thinking about those words. What did they mean?


	9. Of age

I know I haven't been good and haven't updated for a long time, I'm really sorry, but I just couldn't write anything that sounded right. If you think this chapter is a little off, that's why… For some reason my writing sucks lately.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders.

**9 – Of age**

My birthday wasn't at all like I expected.

The day started out bad and only got worse: I woke up with a headache, I almost got run over by a car while I crossed the road and I arrived late at the Bryants', where I went to babysit two children.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bryant, I promise it won't happen again." I assured.

"It's okay." He replied, but I could tell he was in a hurry and wasn't listening to me. "I have to go. My wife will be home by 12, you know where my office number is." He said goodbye to his kids and left.

"So, Danny, Emily, what do you want to do?" I asked them. Danny was eight and Emily was six: he was one of the most lively little boys I knew, but on the other hand his sister Emily was very sweet.

"I wanna play with my soldiers!" Danny exclaimed and rushed upstairs, without waiting for my answer.

"What about you, Emily?"

"I'd like to draw." She muttered, looking down. She was a bit shy.

"Sure. Let's go upstairs in Danny's room, so I can check on both of you."

She took my hand and we walked upstairs. The door of Danny's room was closed, though. I sighed and knocked. "Danny, open the door."

"No!"

"Danny, please, open the door." I repeated.

"No! I'm a big boy, I don't need no babysitter!" he shouted.

I looked at Emily. "He's never said this before."

"Yeah, he's mad because a kid his age makes fun of him for having a babysitter." Emily told me.

"I see… but I can't leave him alone." I raised my voice a little: "Danny, open this door now or I will give all your cookies to your sister."

"You can't do that!"

"Yes, I can. Your parents trust me with you two."

"Alright!" he yelled. Emily and I waited for him to open the door. The day got worse when he pronounced the following words: "Oops… I can't unlock the door."

"What do you mean you can't unlock the door?" I felt like I was going to panic.

"The key doesn't work!" he said.

_Great. _"Okay, listen. Open your window, I'll climb in from outside. Come on, Emily."

She followed me in the small garden. Luckily, there was a tree that grew beside his window, so I could climb over there. "Emily, don't move." I told her as I started climbing.

"Wow, you're good!" she exclaimed. "I can't climb trees."

"Yeah, growing up with boys around makes you learn dumb things." I told her.

I reached Danny's window and I was going to get inside, but I heard his voice calling me. I looked down, he was standing next to Emily. "I tried until I got to open the door!" he laughed.

Of course, that had to be after I'd already climbed all the way up there. "Good. I'm coming down then."

And _that _was when the day got awful. I slipped and fell.

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"Only you could break your arm on your birthday!" my brother commented later that day, while we were chilling in our living room.

"Like I did it on purpose!" I replied. "Leave me alone, Two-Bit."

"Aww, is my little sister mad? You ain't so little thinkin' about it. You're eighteen now, which means…" he paused.

"What?"

"I'm thinkin'…"

I rolled my eyes and got up. "This is the worst birthday I ever had." I don't know what possessed me to say the following, but I continued: "I should have broken my neck instead."

"Susan!" Two-Bit shouted. "Don't you dare say that again!"

"Calm down, you ain't my father."

"You're a brat." He replied. "You have no right to say those things. You're lucky mom ain't home yet or she would've slapped you hard."

"Leave me alone!" I went upstairs and slammed my bedroom door behind me. I was feeling annoyed and frustrate and my arm hurt and I'd taken it out on my brother.

Half an hour later they knocked on my door. "Two-Bit, I told you to get the hell away from me!" I yelled.

"It's not Two-Bit." Someone replied. I could tell that voice from anywhere. I got up and opened the door. "Sorry, Darry… I thought you were my annoying brother…" I apologized and let him in.

"It's ok. Two-Bit told me about your accident… How do you feel, Susie?"

"Better." I sat on my bed. "It's all my fault really, I should have been more careful… why are you here?""

"I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday… here." He handed me a rose. It was so beautiful. "I know it hasn't been the best day so far, I guess I'll leave you alone now." He turned and started to leave, but I stopped him: "Wait! Don't go, Darry… you're the only good thing happened to me today." I said softly. "Would you stay and talk with me for a while?"

Darry nodded and sat beside me.

"Do you remember your eighteenth birthday?" I asked him curiously.

"A bit. My mom baked a cake, as usual, and I remember I was all nervous because the following day there was an important football match at school and I absolutely wanted to win…"

"Did your team win?"

He smiled. "Yeah. We barely made it. The other team was furious." He paused. "So you're starting college next month."

"Yes." I nodded. I was feeling so confused. I didn't understand why Darry was there, it felt surreal, like I was dreaming or I was acting a part from a movie… and I decided I didn't have anything to lose, so I asked. "Darry, why… are you here? I mean, it's great you came to wish me a happy birthday, I'm happy you did, but I was just thinking… I don't want to bother you, you have your family to worry about, we're not even friends because I'm so much younger… what am I to you?"

My heart was beating so fast. I was afraid of his reply. A part of me didn't want to hear and for a second I considered running away from my bedroom. But I also knew I had to face the truth, whatever it was. I'd been avoiding it long enough.

Darry was looking down. "I can't tell you, Susie." He saw the way I was staring at him and quickly added: "I'm not sure myself. Since my parents died, I've tried not to get too attached to people, because I had to look after my brothers and only care about them. You were a little kid then and… I didn't use to care so much. I was nice to you, because you were young, and then it seemed like you grew up all of a sudden and I found myself caring an awful lot more about you. Especially knowing your brother… I mean, Two-Bit is great, but sometimes he's a little air headed." He paused. "So I don't know… I feel like I'm too old to love you, but I don't want you to get hurt and if I could help you, I would."

"Help me… how?" I whispered, still stunned by his revelation. "Why can't you ignore our age difference? There's plenty of people in the world that get married and the man is older than the woman! And in the Middle Ages, twenty year olds married forty year olds! You say you care, but if you do, couldn't you overlook all this? I'm just… if you really want to know, ten years and eight months aren't that big of a difference!" I couldn't stop speaking.

"Susie…" he smiled a little at the mention of our exact age difference. "It ain't that easy, I have responsibilities, toward you, your family, even myself."

"But I ain't asking you to run away together and get married or something crazy like that, I'm just asking you to… give me a chance." I insisted. All the shyness I once had was completely gone. I felt like I really had guts, for the first time in my life.

"I don't know." Darry said softly. "Sometimes I look at Soda and see how happy he is with his wife and their baby, and think that's what a family should be like and I fear that… I will never have that kind of life." Darry concluded.

"Darry, you're the best person I know, you deserve a life like that! And you will get it, maybe not now, but I'm sure. I can feel it. And I don't care if it'll be me, I hope you'll be happy, because you've earned it!" I was getting mad. Darry wasn't supposed to think that way, he had to be hopeful, life had been harsh on him and he just had to have more.

"See, when you say such things you don't sound like an eighteen year old. I have a hard time believing you're one." He joked.

"Well then… close your eyes and pretend I'm not eighteen, I'm not Two-Bit's sister, I'm just someone you may like."

He got up. "I need to think. This is difficult…" he rubbed his forehead. "I hope I'll see you soon. Happy birthday, Susie."

He left and I felt a bit more hopeful. Maybe things would finally work out between us.


End file.
